OFFICIAL MEMO FROM THE DESK OF THE CFO:

Listen, Waiter.

I see you went with the “budget-friendly” option. Fine. I do not care what the bowl is made of, as long as the mountain of food inside it is high enough.

I have authorized this Essential Ration Bowl because, frankly, you are clumsy.

Why the Boss Approved This:

• Gravity Proof: You drop things. A lot. If you drop ceramic, it shatters. If you drop this, it bounces. This bowl is designed to survive your butterfingers.

• Mobile Dining: Because it is lightweight plastic, I can easily push it across the kitchen floor at 3 AM to make that scratching noise you love so much.

• Vibrant Colors: It comes in bright colors. This helps you locate my feeding station when you are half-asleep.

• The “No-Cold” Chin: Metal gets cold. Plastic stays room temperature. My royal chin prefers the warmth.

Your Orders:

1. Wash it (it is plastic, it holds smells if you are lazy).

2. Fill it to the brim.

3. Do not let it sit empty. An empty bowl is a sign of a failed administration.