OFFICIAL MEMO FROM THE DESK OF THE CFO:
Listen, Wet Nurse.
The tiny, screaming versions of me (kittens) cannot eat steak yet. They require liquid gold (milk replacement).
I have watched you try to feed them with a spoon. It is embarrassing. You get more milk on their face than in their stomach.
I have authorized this Nursing Bottle Kit so you can perform your duties with professional accuracy.
Why the Boss Approved This:
The “Fake Mom” Technology: The silicone nipple is designed to trick the interns into thinking they are with their mother. It is soft, safe, and chewable.
The Flow Control: You can control the speed of the milk. Do not waterboard the staff. Squeeze gently.
Capacity Management: The bottle has clear markings. This allows you to measure exactly how much the recruits are consuming. We need them to grow big and strong (but not fatter than me).
Hygiene Protocol: It comes with a bottle brush. Use it. I do not want the new staff getting sick on your watch.
Your Orders:
Pierce the nipple (carefully).
Fill with warm formula.
Hold the intern at a 45-degree angle.
Feed until the screaming stops and the “milk coma” begins.
mmsujon153@gmail.com –
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “They Are Finally Quiet.” “The bottle works. The interns ate, fell asleep, and stopped making that high-pitched noise. I can finally nap in peace. 5 stars.” — Mr. Neta, CFO