Listen, Medical Officer.
I detected movement on my flank at 0400 hours. I bit the area. The itching continues. It appears my perimeter has been breached by fleas.
I refuse to be bathed in toxic chemicals. I demand a tactical manual extraction. I have authorized the purchase of these Interceptor Combs because they rely on physics, not poison.
Why the Boss Demands This Asset:
Zero-Tolerance Spacing (Fine Metal Teeth): Look at the gap between the pins. It is microscopic. It traps fleas, eggs, and dirt while letting my fur pass through. It is a filter that separates “The Boss” from “The Pests.”
The “Dual-Wield” Strategy (2 Sizes): The big one is for my majestic back and tail. The small one is for my face and paws. Do not use the big one near my eyes, or you will be demoted.
Ergonomic Grip (The Handle): It has ridges so your sweaty nervous hands do not slip while you are performing surgery on me.
Instant Evidence: When you pull the comb out, I want to see the captured enemy. Show it to me so I can gloat before you dispose of it.
Your Orders:
Wait until I am sleepy (do not attempt this while I am in “Zoomie” mode).
Comb slowly in the direction of my fur.
Dip the comb in soapy water to neutralize the targets.
Do not pull my hair. I will bite.
Mr. Neta (CFO) –
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “The itching has ceased.” “The human combed me for 20 minutes. We caught three intruders. I feel aerodynamic again. The service was acceptable.” — Mr. Neta, CFO