OFFICIAL MEMO FROM THE DESK OF THE CFO:
Listen, Janitor.
You complain about “hairballs.” You complain about “fur on the sofa.” You spend hours picking hair out of the old brush with your fingers. It is pathetic to watch.
I have authorized this Self-Cleaning Shed-Ejector to increase your efficiency.
Why the Boss Approved This:
The Magic Eject Button: You push the button. The bristles retract. The hair falls off in a perfect circle. It is incredibly satisfying. I suspect you will brush me just to press the button.
The “Good” Scratches: The bristles are fine metal teeth. They reach deep into my coat and scratch that itch I cannot reach. It feels like 100 tiny fingernails worshipping me.
Massaging Tips: The bristles have protective tips so you don’t scratch my royal skin. I am sensitive, unlike you.
The “Candy” Look: It is pink. It looks like a giant lollipop. Do not eat it.
Your Orders:
Brush my back (gently).
When the brush is full of my glorious fur, hold it over the trash.
Click the button. Pop.
Resume worshipping me.
mmsujon153@gmail.com –
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Very Satisfying.” “The human pushed the button and the hair popped off like magic. They stared at it for 5 minutes. Simple minds are easily entertained. 5 stars.” — Mr. Neta, CFO